The Truth, According To Wuth...

Sometimes... when your heart hurts, you feel like your whole body is about to fall apart. Like, your knees will give out, your legs won't work, your brain will no longer let you control your emotions and it will show all over you. It will show in your eyes, your skin, your hair, your posture, your mouth, and in the decisions that you make. I have spent my entire life protecting my heart and trying to mask my feelings from the world and only feel in the privacy of my own company. What have I learned from this? I have learned that by doing this, I am hiding and not healing. It is ok to feel the emotions that can be embarrassing; betrayed, lonely, like a failure, not good enough, put down, forgotten, used, manipulated, etc. What is not ok is letting those that assist you in feeling that way, get away with it. By "get away with it", I don't mean "get even". I mean tell them. Tell the person how they made you feel. It took me 6 months to speak my mind t...

On December 2nd, I turned the ripe old age of 30. Frankly, I am floored by this because I was only born yesterday! I haven't even learned to walk or sit without falling yet! I say "sit" without falling because I managed to fall out of my chair last Sunday night at Hotel Cafe right at the moment where everyone was staring at me and singing "Happy Birthday". Amazing. That is what I am. My birthday was a typical day; I woke up, was late for work, sat by myself at the office for about 4 hours with no human interaction until my co-worker Adi came in with a beautiful box of cupcakes! I got pretty excited because let's face it, who doesn't love cupcakes? I left work a little early to go home and get ready for dinner reservations that my friend Mark had made with a few friends. A liquid dinner with close friends was just what the doctor ordered. Mark arrived and let me know that it would just be us for dinner and we would meet up with everyone after at t...

The movie "Unfaithful" happened to be on tonight; a movie I have seen several times. I only caught the tail end of the film this time around but this time, it left me thinking for longer than usual. Connie Sumner goes through the painful emotional journey of finding out that her husband not only knew that she had been cheating on him, but had hired someone to follow her and take pictures for proof. Her husband, knowing that he had killed the young man she had cheated with, has to come to terms with what he had done all for love. The married couple decide that their love for one another and their son is too great to tell the truth and come clean with what actually happened. Instead of justice being served for the poor fool who was charmed by Connie Sumners beauty and then killed for it, his story remains unsolved while the married couple decides it's best for them and their son to move past it and on with their lives as hard as it may seem. They decide to live the res...

It's a beautiful thing to have one day a year where people say thanks. Thanks for what you ask? Well, you mostly hear people give their thanks for their health, job, families, friends, food on the table, etc. People also say thanks by taking this day to serve in soup kitchens or volunteer somewhere - you know, give back to their communities. This warms my heart so much that it made me evaluate my own actions to date. Aside from the four times a year when I clean out my closet and household and give my stuff to homeless people on the street, I haven't really given back to my community here in Los Angeles. I contemplated serving in a soup kitchen on my first Thanksgiving alone because that is super original and no one else does that on Thanksgiving (insert sarcasm). I opted to do that on any other day because let's face it - the hungry are hungry every other day of the year too. The bottom line is that there are hundreds of organizations looking for volunteers through...

A few weeks back I decided to really pamper myself. I went to a fantastic yoga class, got a massage and then popped over to good ol' Larchmont to get a sandwich one dreams about from Larchmont Delicatessen. As I strolled on inside donning my best workout attire and a rocking hairstyle after my sweet head massage, I perused the shelves for a tasty snack while I waited in line to order. I decided that I would try a brand of coconut water that I had never had before to try another attempt at figuring out what all the fuss was about. As I was reading the back of the box (yes, this brand came in a juice box looking container), I heard a man's voice say, "That stuff is disgusting, don't do it". I looked up to see a somewhat attractive, late 20's man-boy staring at my coconut water and smirking. I quickly thanked him for the tip and put it back on the shelf as I looked for something else that was going to quench my insatiable thirst. "That rasbberry sparkl...

On December 24, 1985, Beverly worked hard to get her three kids ready for the Christmas Eve church service that they attended every year. With a 5 year old and two 9 year olds who weren't as thrilled to go to church as they were for Santa to come, you can imagine the difficulty getting the kids out the door. Curt, Bev's husband, focused on getting his son ready while Bev made sure the two girls looked as cute as can be in their matching dresses and ringlet curls. Getting out of the house on time was never easy no matter how much planning Bev did in advance but tonight, with images of being able to get a good night sleep in mind, Bev was determined for everything to go without a hitch. She would get the kids to church on time, she would get them to bed without any whining, they would fall asleep immediately and she would get a solid four hours before she had to wake back up again to make sure Santa had come. All went surprisingly well on this Christmas Eve. The kids were we...

Bless me blog readers for I have sinned. Again... It's been two months since I have given you verbal diarrhea to immerse yourselves in. Two very short months and so much to say later, I fear that this post may be a mash up of thoughts to leave you with. My last post was on a the 11th of September, a chilling memory for us all, and I skipped right over my favorite month of the year, October! I am kicking myself for not being more dedicated to writing about my festive Fall activities. I was lucky this year to have met some truly wonderful women who share my same passion for pumpkins, drinking, baking and watching some classics like "Hocus Pocus". The haunting vocal stylings of Sarah Jessica Parker bring me back to the days when I would sing that pretty little melody in the shower, or on my walk to middle school, or humming myself to sleep at night. I attended the pumpkin festival again this year and found myself high on the buzz of pumpkin beer, sickened by the Queen c...

Recently a dear friend of mine that I met in New York City nearly 10 years ago tagged me in one of her photos. When I saw the picture I got so excited that I peed a little because I recognized that face staring back and me and I hadn't seen her in years... I actually had that very same picture myself once but I lost it. The lady in the picture was none other than Kay Wop. Kay Wop was one of my brilliant creations in Mary Ann Konk's comedy class at the school I went to. Let's face it... Voice and speech class is great, Meisner is exciting, Movement was relaxing, and scene study was a real treat but Comedy... There is nothing more exhilarating. Our assignment was to basically people watch around the city or character study if you will, and begin to develop a character of your own. We worked on these characters for over a month and each class came back with new information - what they looked like, what they dressed like, how they talked, what their name was and where they ...

This past weekend my sister got hitched and it was really a beautiful wedding. Mount Bethel, PA really exceeded my expectations although I do want to slap mother nature in the face for making the last two evenings as cold as they were. My sweatshirt wasn't really a good look for my bridesmaid gown. The four days I spent on the east coast were exhausting as we were finishing touched on the seating chart, favors, cake, and finding a hairdresser last minute, yikes!!! But everything turned out as perfect as could be up until 3 a.m. the morning of the wedding when I realized that even though I had thought about making my speech since the day I was asked to be Maid of Honor, I still hadn't actually written it! So... I thought that I would share the masterpiece that was created. The lyrics at the end of the song is what I sang to the bride and groom after my speech.... way after.... after the awkward 60 seconds of silence that they were looking for my song and realized they didn...