Welcoming Wuth

Hello to my future followers! That is so weird to say... I don't actually like the word "followers". That is implying that I am leading you somewhere and you should follow my lead. If that is what I was asking you to do, you would be in big trouble. For example, last Friday I was running up the stairs and I tripped and fell on my face. Why was I running? Oh you know... for no good reason at all but to be a jackass. Had you been following me, you would have seen my ass... on the ground. Last night I went to see my friend Brianna's show at Hotel Cafe. Afterwards, and about 7 cocktails in, I went outside to smoke a disgusting cigarette and in my excitement of seeing Brianna out there too, I tripped and fell on top of her. Had you been following me, you would have seen a drink spilled everywhere and been witness to my embarrassing cackle of a laugh that comes out to party when I do stupid things. I am a leader, not a follower and I would encourage you all to be the same. So, in short, I don't want to refer to you as my "followers". From this point forward you will be referred to as "Wuth's witnesses".

wit·ness (wtns)
n.
1.
a. One who can give a firsthand account of something seen, heard, or experienced:

I wish you could have witnessed me this morning when I woke up a hot mess with a dry mouth, swollen face,pulled muscles and bruises(from falling of course), and last night's fashion. It's amazing what we do to our bodies in search of a little fun. What I felt this morning was not fun but do you know what was???

Brianna Rettig's show at Hotel Cafe. Check out her music at: http://briannamusic.com/

...as you are my witness, they’re not going to lick me! I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be thirsty again! ... If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill! as you are my witness, I’ll never be thirsty again!"

Welcome to all, and thanks for reading!

Comments

  1. Wendy ZamoraMarch 30, 2010 at 7:54 PM

    Nice blog, Jack Attack! Can you get a witness? Hellll yeah!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mark AlanMarch 30, 2010 at 8:02 PM

    This is pretty funny.

    ReplyDelete

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