Expectations and Disappointment
Song of the Day
I have always been a girl lady woman of many thoughts and lately, I have been thinking a lot about the feeling of disappointment. I always hear people say, "I am so disappointed. I guess I am just going to start having no expectations so I cant be disappointed anymore". Well, let's get serious for a moment shall we? It is common to have a set of standards that you hold the people in your life accountable for. Those standards vary from person to person depending on what they hold near and dear to their hearts. It could be traits such as being a good listener, dependable, honesty or having a sense of humor; it could be religious views, political views or ethical standards; or it could be manner, morals, values and knowing right from wrong. The bottom line is that there are thousands of different ways that someone can disappoint you. It could be someone close to you that you thought shared your same set of standards, someone you wish was close to you that you really really hope shares the same set of standards, or it could be a complete stranger that you don't really give a damn about their standards yet you still let them affect you when they don't do what you had hoped for. Disappointment reminds you of what you do and don't want out of life, it provokes thought and feeling and without thought and feeling, you are not truly living.
Have you ever taken the time to think about why disappointment hurts so much more than anger? When you ask someone if they are mad at you and they respond with, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed", it pierces through your heart and hurts so much more than if they just said they were mad. To be disappointed in someone means that you think less of them as a person based on their actions in that moment. To disappoint someone or to be disappointed is a moment of self discovery. Discovery in what you want out of people, and discovery of perhaps how needy someone else is. It's all in how you look at it. People disappoint me all of the time and I either choose to accept them as they are and love them anyway, or make the decision that we are too different and remove myself from that person's life. Is having expectations the same as having hope? If you "hope" something for someone or "hope" something for yourself, and it doesn't happen, disappointment is inevitable. Isn't hope what makes the world go round? The power of positive thinking?
I often ponder when someone asks me if they are being unrealistic in their expectations. I always have an answer but it is based on my set of standards so it is almost pointless for anyone to ask. But - I answer anyway because feedback makes you think and often leads you to a path of self discovery for yourself. Isn't effective communication incredible? It can be so productive, empowering and freeing.
There is a certain amount of self loathing that comes along with being disappointed. Sometimes we choose to keep going back for more and more disappointment from the same people in hope that they will change but all that is, is you letting yourself down; not believing that there is something more positive for you elsewhere. You can always have faith in people but you can't change them. You just have to make a decision to either keep them in your life and love them and be supportive in "hope" that they will one day see the light, or you have to make the decision that you are unable to accept them if they don't change and move on... even if that means a bit of soul searching and heartache that you need to work through.
People will disappoint you, you will disappoint others, and you will disappoint yourself. It's just a healthy reminder of who you are and if that is the person you want to be.
I have always been a girl lady woman of many thoughts and lately, I have been thinking a lot about the feeling of disappointment. I always hear people say, "I am so disappointed. I guess I am just going to start having no expectations so I cant be disappointed anymore". Well, let's get serious for a moment shall we? It is common to have a set of standards that you hold the people in your life accountable for. Those standards vary from person to person depending on what they hold near and dear to their hearts. It could be traits such as being a good listener, dependable, honesty or having a sense of humor; it could be religious views, political views or ethical standards; or it could be manner, morals, values and knowing right from wrong. The bottom line is that there are thousands of different ways that someone can disappoint you. It could be someone close to you that you thought shared your same set of standards, someone you wish was close to you that you really really hope shares the same set of standards, or it could be a complete stranger that you don't really give a damn about their standards yet you still let them affect you when they don't do what you had hoped for. Disappointment reminds you of what you do and don't want out of life, it provokes thought and feeling and without thought and feeling, you are not truly living.
Have you ever taken the time to think about why disappointment hurts so much more than anger? When you ask someone if they are mad at you and they respond with, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed", it pierces through your heart and hurts so much more than if they just said they were mad. To be disappointed in someone means that you think less of them as a person based on their actions in that moment. To disappoint someone or to be disappointed is a moment of self discovery. Discovery in what you want out of people, and discovery of perhaps how needy someone else is. It's all in how you look at it. People disappoint me all of the time and I either choose to accept them as they are and love them anyway, or make the decision that we are too different and remove myself from that person's life. Is having expectations the same as having hope? If you "hope" something for someone or "hope" something for yourself, and it doesn't happen, disappointment is inevitable. Isn't hope what makes the world go round? The power of positive thinking?
I often ponder when someone asks me if they are being unrealistic in their expectations. I always have an answer but it is based on my set of standards so it is almost pointless for anyone to ask. But - I answer anyway because feedback makes you think and often leads you to a path of self discovery for yourself. Isn't effective communication incredible? It can be so productive, empowering and freeing.
There is a certain amount of self loathing that comes along with being disappointed. Sometimes we choose to keep going back for more and more disappointment from the same people in hope that they will change but all that is, is you letting yourself down; not believing that there is something more positive for you elsewhere. You can always have faith in people but you can't change them. You just have to make a decision to either keep them in your life and love them and be supportive in "hope" that they will one day see the light, or you have to make the decision that you are unable to accept them if they don't change and move on... even if that means a bit of soul searching and heartache that you need to work through.
People will disappoint you, you will disappoint others, and you will disappoint yourself. It's just a healthy reminder of who you are and if that is the person you want to be.
happy happy happy!!!! spread positive love and farts everywhere- even on a blog!!
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