Dating In The Modern World, For the Ladies...


Now that I am on my way to becoming a professional dater, I will not deny my friend Laura's request to continue blogging a bit more about dating in the modern world. My overall opinion is a bit biased because I live in a city where commitment and relationships don't really seem to be top priority. But, I think that most of what I have to say is true for wherever you may reside. Based on my experience, this is my truth about guys and dating. This one is for the ladies however, I will indeed have a blog for the gentlemen readers soon.

 1. If he is sweet to your face and then consistently blows you off - he does not have any interest. This shouldn't be confusing but it is common for women to fall for it all the time and make excuses for the man that is always getting away. If he is constantly making plans for the two of you that never happen, he is with someone else doing what he dreamed up for the two of you.

 2. If all he does is text you and doesn't call - he is only interested in one thing and will never take you on a proper date. Texting is cool for a day or two but if he is really interested in dating you, he will call. If he likes you, he cannot wait to talk/see you next!

 3. If he doesn't respond to your text messages, STOP texting! He does not have any interest. Texting is the worst creation ever for those in the dating world. Guys who don't have balls - text. Women who want a lot of attention but don't want to seem annoying - text. Over-texting is just as annoying as calling all the time. Believe me, I have done it! I have looked at the phone the next morning and have felt some deep humiliation for my actions.

 4. The more you look for attention, the more he will stop giving it. If you are the one, you have his undivided attention. Truth.

 5. If a man breaks up with you out of nowhere, the out of nowhere part is really only on your end. It's called denial.

 6. If he just loves to talk about himself or the sound of his own voice, and doesn't inquire about you on a personal level - he is using you for something.

 7. If he doesn't friend you on facebook, or doesn't accept your friendship on facebook - he has a girlfriend or has many of "you's" in his life. BAIL!

 8. Just as it's best to wait to say those three little words until your man does, let a guy change his Facebook status to "in a relationship" before you do.

 9. When a guy repeatedly makes references to his exes with words like "bitch", "crazy," "psycho," or "sluts," guess what? He will be calling you that one day.
10. If a relationship feels like a lot of work after the first month, it's not gonna get easier...

 11. Any guy who rates girls as a number from 1 to 10 is a loser, even if he gives you a 10. You're a woman, not county fair livestock (yes, I stole this from somewhere)...

 12. If every time you speak or every time you text, at least in the beginning, there is "sexy time" talk happening - he is again, not interested in getting to know you - just looking for a fun thrill.

 12. (Another tip I stole from someone else) A guy who talks about how skilled he is in the sack is like a man who brags about his money. Either way, he ain't got it. The kind of man you want to be with knows that actions speak louder than words.

 13. If he flirts openly with you, and with almost every other girl - you are not special. Get it out of your head. These types of guys are masters of making you feel like the only one in the room and on their mind for a few minutes.

 14. If you only hang out at night at the bar or after the bars close - don't be stupid. We all know what that means.

 15. Online dating. This is a tough one. If you talk to a guy you find interesting, DO NOT WAIT TOO LONG to go on a date. The longer you wait, the more you start daydreaming and creating the perfect man in your head and you will let yourself down. That man doesn't stand a chance once you have manifested your own version of who he is.

 16. Online Dating (cont) - If you are meeting guys online that don't live in your area, my first question is why? Most of the time this turns into the swapping of incriminating photos which is hardly a relationship. But, if you are having healthy conversation and getting to know one another my advice remains the same as regular online dating - One of you has to make a move and fast. The longer you wait, the more likely you are to be disappointed.

 17. Speed dating is so much fun (see blog on speed dating from last year). Grab a pal and go on a bunch of 5 minute dates! t doesn't hurt anybody and you meet some very interesting people - BUT - given that you only have 5 minutes, ask some real questions. If you have deal breakers just ask - you will never see these guys again unless you want to and it makes the 5 minutes much more interesting than, "How are you"? "What do you do for work"? "What do you do for fun"? Generic and boring......

 This may seem like an awful lot of rules or labels for bad dates and guys that are hopeless but let's be honest, if something feels wrong, it probably is. I have been in successful relationships (for a period of time), and I have been in fake relationships (in my head), and I have been in terribly dysfunctional relationships. You learn as you go. Am I am expert on relationships? No. But am I am expert on what I feel is right and wrong when in the dating world? Yes. The longer you try to hang on and change the wrong guy, the more time you are wasting being happy with the right guy.

 Men aren't the only ones you lie and play games to get what they want. Women are a completely different animal. Now that is a blog for another day.

 Happy Hunting you crazy animals!



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